Nothing

“‘MEANINGLESS! MEANINGLESS!’ says the teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.'” (Eccliastes, 1:2).

Plaid skirts, shiny shoes, and finely printed study guides fill up our days with busy anxiety and constant chores. They force us to seek knowledge merely for the sake of knowing. Of knowing what? The true, the good, the beautiful. Maybe we will never know why these vague titles are so essential to our souls, or maybe we will wake up in some beautifully wretched morning and finally understand why they stuffed all those hypocritical philosophy books into our brains.

But until that long awaited moment, we find ourselves theorizing and looking at the world through multiple eyes. We gather our thoughts into a theory, and the theory is this: no matter what you believe, who you are, where you go, you ought to seek the truth, because it is important for our poor human souls, and whether you accept it or not, the truth matters.

So we carry on, dressing ourselves in plaid, and painting our nails nude colors, for we know that the truth is what we seek, and not our own selfish cravings. We read self-sacrificial books, learning to put our own selves aside for what truly matters. We see the ruins of lies and deceit; we recognize fallacies in elegant works; we question popular belief despite the cost of our reputation and dignity.

…And yet, we sometimes find that we’ve lost ourselves somewhere along the way. We stray from the truth, because when we focus so much on the quest, we forget the reason why the truth matters when we have perhaps lost all of ourselves. We circle back, and enter the web of lies we tried to leave so far that these questions we first asked to seek the truth mean nothing at the end of the day.

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